brown wheat field during sunset

Who are you and what do you want?

Last week, I discussed finding strength in our daily meditation practice because over the years I haven’t always meditated daily.

I don’t necessary think we always have to meditate every day BUT if we ever speak or exchange emails with others, watch TV or films, reads books, interact with social media, or in some cases have a teacher, or coach, then yes I believe we do.

Whilst I have nothing against the above activities, and find joy in reading books and watching films, we can easily lose ourselves. By that I mean we can easily take on other people’s expectation of what our life should be like, how we ought to run our business, and even what we should be spending our money on.

Unfortunately, we don’t always recognise what is going on because it happens at such a subtle unconscious level, until weeks or months later – occasionally years later! – we can find ourselves incredibly lost.

I’ve always had a sense of who I am, and what my aims are in life, but that clarity has never been stable, and I always found it hard to articulate who or what I was. I also mentioned last week how some people who inspired me, said accountants didn’t have a soul, which got me questioning who I thought I was.

However, lately I have crystallised this and built solid foundations. This doesn’t mean I will never get lost again, but it does mean this sense of who I am, and how I show up each day, is more stable, and so long as I meditate daily I will see the diversions fairly quickly.

So how do we gain clarity?

Whilst I had been gradually stepping back over the last couple of years from social media (with Margaret taking over the reins on some platforms), I took a further step back from all mentoring, and training courses. I was also mindful of what I read and watched, and who I spoke with.

I did this for no other reason than the realisation that for the majority of my life I had listened to the guidance of others (via schooling, further education, books, films, and mentoring, in addition to friends).

All of these sources were insightful. People I knew, organisations I respected, were (and still are!) incredible at what they do. I always felt supported, whilst gaining lots of skills, but I felt it was time to hit the pause button to find out where I truly wanted to go, without any outside guidance.

I had also noticed I’d become dependent on others for emotional support, which I didn’t like, mostly because being emotionally – and financially – independent is a high value of mine.

No-one sets out to influence us, nor do they want us to rely on them

We look up to and respect our teachers and friends because we resonate with their personality and passions, but we have to be careful that we don’t become them nor rely on them. We are unique and we must express our uniqueness. Plus, they don’t want you to become them, nor rely on them either!

Other sources such as TV, social media, films and books, can influence what our business should look like based on success stories we have resonated with. Again, we have to be careful that we don’t morph into our favourite character, the leader we follow, or the connection we have on social media who seems to have everything we want.

Furthermore, we have to be incredibly mindful our lives don’t end up reflecting our favourite TV show, book, or film.

Allow yourself to be inspired but BE YOU too!

Woman jumping for joy in mountain meadow, front view

Daily meditation, in any form, is crucial, or at least I believe so to connect in with who we really are. If you feel a little lost or lack clarity, I suggest you abstain from reaching out for direction if possible. Instead go inwards. By all means seek out help if you need assistance with any uncomfortable feelings that may come up though.

Focus on your breathe and let go of any judgemental thoughts. Gradually you will notice your muscles relaxing, you will feel calmer and you’ll hear fewer thoughts buzzing around your head. Eventually, you will start to hear, see, or feel a connection to your soul. It may take time, it may be immediate. Either way be gentle with yourself.

I started by listening to guided meditations, but now I mostly sit in silence, other times I go for a walk in a forest or along the beach if I can. Yet, whilst I consciously started my meditation journey ten years ago, I had been doing it all my life in other forms, most of them creative. I just hadn’t made it a conscious daily practice.

Meditation can also be experienced by listening to music, cycling, running, relaxing in the bath, getting a massage, painting, drawing, writing, or making something. Anything that calms you really, other than alcohol! 😉

Who am I and what do I want?

In case you’re wondering I am passionate about financial education to prevent someone falling into poverty when they suddenly find themselves single – either through the death of their partner or parents, or perhaps they experience an unexpected divorce.

Alternatively, we may find our life is threatened, along with our children, due to an abusive relationship, and find ourselves choosing between risking our life so we can pay the bills versus being safe but having no money.

My family and friends have experienced all these unfortunate events. Poverty is around the corner for us all, unless we take action to prevent it.

I do this through writing books & blogs, and helping SME’s build their financial resilience so they can keep their staff employed and grow their business. I also financially empower business owners and individuals.

I bridge the material world with spirituality. I seek support when I need to gain skills to exercise my vision, but go inwards for emotional support and daily guidance.

I want financial education to be freely accessible to everyone, and I believe no-one should ever have to risk their lives in order to feed and clothe themselves and their children.

Now your turn

I highly encourage you take time out to crystallise all that for yourself too. Good luck and please share below in the comments afterwards, if you feel comfortable.

P.s. If you don’t feel comfortable expressing who you are, then I suggest you keep building up your strength and connection with your soul through regular meditation practice. Also check out last week’s blog: Dear Lightworker.

Helen Monaghan

Author of Successful Business MindsThe Magical Mix of Money & Tax and 12 Steps to Improve Your Cashflow.


Helen Monaghan is a Chartered Management Accountant, accredited NLP Practitioner & Hypnotherapist, Finance Coach and is both a psychology graduate (The Open University) and an accountancy graduate (The University of Stirling). She is the author of three business books, which beautifully bring together psychology, finance, and tax to empower the reader about money, and is the founder of HM Finance Coaching Ltd, a company that provides financial education and business mindset coaching to small businesses across the UK, in addition to accountancy services for limited companies in Scotland.

© HM Finance Coaching Ltd

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