Diary blog: Book launch countdown (18 days)
Yesterday I caught myself procrastinating…
My partner, Doug, approached me after breakfast and asked what I was doing today. I replied saying oh a bit of marketing, the book and perhaps some psychology homework. I added that I might also pop along to the opening day of my new tennis club (I’ve decided to make more of an effort to play one of my favourite sports this year).
He looked at me and said “You really think you can fit that ALL in today?” I laughed and said no. It was just my wish list…
He asked what was important. I said the book obviously! I again mentioned the tennis though. Doug then enquired lovingly “I don’t want you to be stressed on Sunday and Monday [the book is being sent to the printers on Monday – fingers crossed!] and I know you want to go to the tennis but perhaps you should focus on the book this weekend? I know you’re going to see gran tomorrow, which is equally as important as the book, if not more, so how about you stay here today, maybe go for a wee walk for some exercise though. You can play tennis all day next Saturday.”
Don’t you just love it when your partner’s right?…. No me neither.
I walked away a little irritated with him but I then pondered on his words. He was right. I asked myself – Why was I stalling on the book? I then realised the nerves were coming back!
Part four of the book is dedicated to fear. I’m not full of confidence with everything I do (I’m human!) but I do know most of our fears are a perception. It comes from our beliefs and the identity that we have created for ourselves.
I thought back to a conversation I had with Julie on Friday (see previous blog). She’s American, although has been living in the UK a while now, and we got chatting about the differences between the British and the Americans. Obviously we are all different but as a general rule Americans are encouraged to live the dream from a very young age. We (us Brits) however don’t get that so much. My mum always encouraged me to reach for my dreams (even at times when she was unable to do it herself), and that I am grateful for. However, generally speaking we’re not really encouraged to strive for success or follow our heart so much.
In fact the phrase “Ach, he’s getting too big for his boots” is something that is repeated often where I live, either through the spoken word, frowns or in an unconscious message that has been carried down from generation to generation. It is challenging to strive for our dreams when in general, our society disproves of it. If we can find a loving supportive network though if will help combat this.
I acknowledged that I am grateful for having a large intimate group of friends who do encourage me. My partner is one of them.
I then went back to Doug and told him what was going on in my head. We chatted about it for a while and then he gave me a big encouraging hug. That was all I needed. I then sat down and got to work.
© Helen Monaghan
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