Time is the true commodity

My gran, aged 90, said the most heart-wrenching thing to me at the weekend.

I was visiting her in the nursing home that has been her home now for 3 months. Her health has been deteriorating for a while and she is now experiencing dementia. This is heartbreaking to experience.

She has faired to a good age. I am very grateful for that. Yet that doesn’t make the pain any less bearable. She was, still is, my best friend. She is also my mentor and has taught me directly, and indirectly, how best to live my life. She still continues.

On Sunday she quietly said to me “I want more time.”

I asked her what she would like to do with that time. She replied.”I want to spend it with you and get to know you more”.

My heart shattered into a million pieces. “Me too” I whispered through my tears.

Sadly, I don’t know if she was saying this to me as her granddaughter, her daughter (she has mistaken me for my mum a couple of times) or a stranger (a few weeks ago she asked me who I was). Regardless of my identity to her, which can change throughout a visit, all she simply wanted was more time with me.

I had only arrived when she said this to me, but I decided in that moment to cancel my tennis plans for later and spend more time with her.

I have always craved more time. More time to work, more time to spend with my partner, more time to spend with my family, more time to spend with my friends, more time for holidays, more time to play tennis, more time to read, more time to write… So when she said this, it resonated and hurt like hell at the same time.

I realised that we will always crave time and always be in a state of overwhelm as to how we choose to spend it, that is, until we truly connect in with what we want. I was talking about this on Monday to the mastermind group too. I shared how we can only decide what we want to do based on how we truly wish to spend our time. That means having to make some tough decisions and saying “No”.

That ‘No’ may change weekly or daily. This is why it’s important that you know what each of your 4 minds want (head, heart, body & soul) and check in frequently with them.

I watched a movie a few years ago called ‘In Time’, which was set in the future. The storyline was around the idea that we are paid in time, instead of money. It might be a sci-fi movie but it’s spot on. Money is a currency and we choose to spend it how we want. We are always having to make trade-offs with our money and spend it wisely. Time is no different. Time is also a currency that we choose to spend it how we want.

The question I want to ask is, are you spending your time wisely?

What do your head, heart, body and soul want to be doing, being and with whom?

Love Helen x

© Helen Monaghan

If you liked this blog, you might also be interested in

https://www.hmcoaching.co.uk/why-it-takes-me-3-workings-days-to-respond/