How courageous are you?
I have been called many things in my life but I had to laugh at the title a client suggested to me recently – A financial priest! She suggested it to me after she confessed about how she was feeling towards an immediate challenge she was facing. I had called her to discuss her recent year end accounts, yet after asking how she was, she then shared that she was feeling annoyed and frustrated, so we ended up doing a mini coaching session instead!
I always feel incredibly privileged when a client tells me something that is bothering them emotionally about their business or personal life and this was no exception. I know it takes great strength and courage to show vulnerability, especially when they are telling everyone else in their network that business is good or that they are fine. Some people think that because I am an accountant I have a sixth sense and will know intuitively so they do not even bother to lie. Sometimes I do pick up on things and ask a question that I know will get a response. Other times, they open up because they know they can trust me and that I will hold the space for them to get it off their chest. This was actually one of the reasons why I studied coaching, psychology and hypnotherapy skills so that I could assist my clients better when that happened.
Another client, who also opened up and shared a truth with me recently said that he felt so much better for being honest with someone. Most coaches and therapist are keen to always view something positively but sometimes it is better to be honest and factual. Every week I join an online group of like-minded souls for Gratitude Friday where we list everything that we are grateful for. Last Friday however we decided to change it to F**k it Friday where we just let off a bit of steam. It was incredibly therapeutic!
The biggest issue when faced with being vulnerable is that it is perceived to be a sign of weakness. We think that in business we should be professional and stern. But I am curious as to how many business owners or managers have displayed this fake ‘I have got it all sorted’ when in the middle of an emotionally challenging time only to collapse when they leave the room or get home? Going on my own past experiences and that of my clients, I believe it is a lot more than we think.
So please, if you have something that is churning your insides and you are keeping all it yourself I really do encourage you to open up and share with a friend, trusted business owner, coach or therapist. I guarantee you will feel so much lighter and courageous for it, and the more authentic you are when you interact with others the more things just flow better. A bonus that my clients and I have found is that being honest brings us more of what we need, whether that is support, clients, money, or all three. After all, you don’t get you if you don’t ask!
© Helen Monaghan
