It’s good to give but you must be strong enough

I think it is good to give, however, money, or time can only be given if you have the resources to spare. Additionally, a gift can only be given if it’s welcomed by the receiver. If someone is skeptical of the help then they are not openly accepting it.

Often I see my clients, and others, exhausting themselves because they are giving too much. Not necessarily money, but their time which affects their energy levels, their emotional state and their own finances. They see it as their duty to help others, often for free, or for a heavily discounted price. They believe they can do it all themselves, and rarely ask for help. When help is offered to them, they refuse it, or return the favour immediately. I recognise this in others, as I was once like that myself, and I see it in my gran too.

My gran was born during the same year as the Queen, but has had a much more challenged life. She lost her husband when she was 33 years old, and raised three children on her own, asking for very little help from others. She inspired me to be independent, strong and giving.

Today aged 89 years old, she is finding herself needing the help of family, neighbours, and now nurses. Over the years she has gradually accepted the help from her family and neighbours. However, as I sat with her in hospital on Sunday, I could see that she was still reluctant to let the nurses help her. It was no surprise to see others in the ward doing the same.

Whilst I am a firm believer in stretching yourself, I also believe you have to know when to accept help. When people reach out to help you, if they are told to go away then that makes them feel sad. They truly want to help you, because others have helped them and they know how much that help can assist you. It’s not a ego thing, but a soul thing. When others give, they feel fulfilled. Equally, you can only help others, if they are in a place of being able to welcome your help. And you know it feels good to give. You too feel fulfilled, when helping others.

I have been lucky enough to have received gifts from many people over the years. It took me a while to accept these gracefully though. Once I did, I then found I was able to have periods of my life where I accepted help so I could build up my strength; emotionally, energetically and financially. Only once I was strong enough, and my batteries were fully charged, could I then offer the same help to others. This is why I offer a free 45minute consultation call to help you with your immediate financial challenge, and 12 weeks free support through an ebook, 12 weekly newsletters and a private Facebook group. You can sign up HERE.

I have many skills, like most therapists and coaches, but there are times in my life when I still need to ask for help from others, especially at the moment as I am finding it emotionally challenging watching my Gran resist old age and battle illness. I have a mentor, and a long list of coaches and therapists, who I can call on for help, which I share through my website here (scroll down to the bottom).

I encourage you to give and share today too, BUT only if you are strong enough. If you aren’t, then please accept the offers of help from others. Hx

© Helen Monaghan

Sign up HERE for the 12 weeks free support and get access to my ebook, 12 weekly newsletters and a private Facebook group. Or call me on +44 (0)131 448 1097 to book your free consultation call.

NB: This blog was inspired as today (1st December 2015) is known as Giving Tuesday. You can find out more about Giving Tuesday from here http://www.givingtuesday.org.uk/.